“Saturday Night time Dwell” poked enjoyable on the latest collection of headline-grabbing movie star arrests with a chilly open sketch that introduced collectively in a jail cell Lori Loughlin, Michael Avenatti and Michael Keaton as Julian Assange.

The sketch — a play on the MSNBC present “Lockup” — opens on three inmates chatting about what received them behind bars, with one of many actors calling the crimes Kenan Thompson’s character dedicated insane.

“You suppose that’s insane? I paid 500 grand to get my daughter into USC,” says Kate McKinnon as Loughlin, who was charged within the widespread faculty admissions dishonest scandal.

“I paid 500 grand to a ladies’s crew coach to say my daughter was good at rowing,” she provides. “I’m loco.”

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The ersatz Loughlin goes on to say that she “owns the guards in right here. I helped their youngsters get into top-rate pre-Ks” and that she bribed her method into the Nation of Islam for $100,000. She additionally makes a number of references to “Full Home,” together with the long-lasting line “how impolite.”

Nonetheless, Thompson tells her she “gained’t survive in right here greater than every week.”

“You suppose jail is difficult?” McKinnon’s Loughlin laughs. “I’ve achieved 68 Hallmark motion pictures. I’ve seen hell, man.”

Then in walks Pete Davidson as Michael Avenatti, who was charged Thursday in a 36-count federal indictment.

“Did any individual say loopy?” the fake Avenatti says. “I’m accused of crimes you’ll be able to’t even conceive of, like blackmailing a sneaker firm and stealing taxes from a espresso store to fund a racecar crew. And I’m so shady {that a} pornstar as soon as mentioned she wanted to distance herself from me.

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“And you recognize what the worst half is?” he provides. “I’d nonetheless run for president. Avenatti-Baldwin, 2020.”

To not be outdone, Keaton’s Julian Assange pops in, calling himself the “architect of anarchy,” the “king of chaos” and the “scourge of the cleansing employees on the Ecuadorian embassy.”

“Y’all wanna know the way loopy I’m? Right here’s how loopy I’m. I’m needed within the U.S. and Sweden. I’m from Australia. I stay in London in Ecuador. You strive figuring that one out,” he says. “Yeah, you cheat your faculties, and also you rob your firms. That’s cute. It’s. I’ve attacked the U.S. navy . . . as a result of I’m an precise James Bond supervillain, and I’m one step away from destroying the goddamn moon. So that you wanna get nuts, so let’s get nuts.”

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Then, the characters spot rainbow-maned rapper Tekashi 6ix9ine, performed by Melissa Villasenor, sitting within the nook, telling everybody he’s simply in for good outdated “theft and gun stuff. It’s one of the best!”

“Nicely, we might each remorse this. However Tekashi, do you want a lawyer?” Davidson’s Avenatti asks, including “See, jail’s enjoyable!”


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