Pricey Amy: Lately my nephew bought married.

My mother RSVP’d for the marriage and made the five-hour drive together with her husband to town the marriage was in, however then didn’t attend the marriage and reception.

Her excuse was the truth that my stepfather had forgotten to pack costume garments (there was no costume code for the marriage; denims would have been acceptable).

The subsequent day all of our members of the family had brunch at an area restaurant. Once more, my mother RSVP’d “sure” for her and her husband, after which didn’t attend. This time her excuse was that she couldn’t discover her sun shades and due to this fact couldn’t drive to the restaurant. (My stepfather doesn’t drive, and my mother has macular degeneration, however my brother provided to select them up.)

We had flown throughout the nation to attend this marriage ceremony, and I resent that my mom didn’t even trouble to see us.

This isn’t the primary time my Mother has accomplished this. When one in every of my mother’s nieces died, she made the five-hour drive after which didn’t attend the funeral. (I flew in to attend.) And some months in the past, her brother died, and she or he didn’t make the drive and didn’t attend the funeral.

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What ought to I do? I’m so offended that I really feel like disowning my mother, however I understand that’s not rational or mature.

— Upset Daughter

Pricey Upset: In case your mom proactively declined each invitation and obligation, you’ll have a extra apparent hook to hold your anger upon.

Right here she is, driving for hours with macular degeneration (yikes!), making an attempt mightily — in her manner — to indicate up! And but … she will’t fairly get there.

Your mom is likely to be extraordinarily socially anxious, overwhelmed, exhausted, or undermined by her husband. She is likely to be self-conscious and afraid of going through questions or criticism. She is likely to be wrestling with a severe medical situation that interferes together with her functioning. She’s working very laborious to indicate up for her household, and but she can not appear to face her household.


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